You're UGLY!?!? Part 2 of the Hair Loss Conversations
A couple of months ago I shared my hair loss story. Since then I have received warm and kind messages from people sharing their own stories about their hair loss, and even their body image stories and struggles and it not only touched my heart, but it also made me want to dive deeper into the topic.
First, I want to address why I decided to speak primarily to women in my video and now in my blog post. The main reason is that for women, hair loss is a huge taboo! It’s not something that we readily talk about, and in fact, it’s something that brings up huge bouts of shame and even unworthiness.
Don’t get me wrong, men experience pain and shame from hair loss as well. But we see it more often in men, and there have even been many positive icons of bald men, like Mr. Clean. When was the last time we saw a positive depiction of a bald woman? This isn’t to say that Mr. Clean is able to completely mask the feelings of shame that men feel from ‘going bald.’ The fact remains that women spend more time, energy, and money on their beauty and are even taxed heavily because of it. That’s a topic for a whole other video! Sheesh!
Why do we struggle so much with our self-image? Are we really seeking beauty? And why is beauty so important to us?
These are big questions and I think there is much more to say on the topic. But what stood out to me while researching this topic wasn’t how important beauty is to women, but how pervasive the feelings and fear surrounding our thoughts on being UGLY.
This is the pain point, right? This is where the beauty industry is able to corner women and shame them into spending more to AVOID and prevent what we THINK is ugly.
It’s funny though, these feelings and thoughts mainly remain in one’s own mind. When you ask a woman if her friends are ugly she’ll most likely say absolutely not! But if you ask her if she is she’ll point out every flaw. Why? What is this all about? Why didn’t I, for example, want people to see my balding head?
I explained in my last video, “What’s up with Lacey’s Hair???” that my hair was a way for me to prevent people from having a negative perception of me. I wanted people to think that even though I have a visible disability I was still kicking ass! Without my hair, I really felt ugly! And ugly for me was looking ill or sick. The story I told about myself is that I am needy and a burden if I don’t have my hair. Wow!
Let’s dive into that! What is your UGLY STORY? What would be the worst form of ugly to you? Really dive deep. What if you lost your face? What if you lost your hair? What if you could never wear makeup again? What is the story you would tell yourself about yourself?
Once you’ve got your UGLY STORY, notice how often you see and hear it in your life. Not just from your own mind, but in ads, on social media, in commercials, and in movies.
How about comparisons? How often do you compare your ugly to others’ beauty? How does this story make you feel? What would you do with your life if you didn’t tell yourself this story anymore?
HERE’S the thing: We RARELY if EVER talk about these feelings! Because we are avoiding our UGLY STORIES and hiding them away from even ourselves, we aren’t able to fully own our own narrative! In essence, we are handing over our own power to the BIG BEAUTY Industry to write it for us. And they get to tell us how we should look, feel, and act with our bodies, faces, hair, makeup, clothing, skin, boobs, asses, and assets!
Instead, if we own our own UGLY fears and negative self-talk, maybe we can finally claim our beauty too!
My big question for you is can you LOVE yourself regardless of your Ugly story? Can you look yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you no matter what?” If you can’t yet, it’s okay. Take as long as you need to to feel all the feelings you have about your body, your hair, and your smile. I am here and I am listening.
In the meantime, imagine what you could create if you couldn’t hide your ugly story anymore? How would your life be different? THEN what would you say? Do? How would you act? Dress? Do your hair?
I’d love to hear what you think and feel. Please feel free to open your heart and share your thoughts and feelings on the subject.
With love,
Brave Lace
WATCH THE VIDEO HERE:
Sources Used:
2021 Beauty Industry Trends Cosmetics Marketing: Statistics & strategies for your eCommerce growth, Reilly Roberts, 03/08/202. Common Thread Co. 1https://commonthreadco.com/blogs/coachs-corner/beauty-industry-cosmetics-marketing-ecommerce#statistics
Hair Care Market Size, Share & Industry Analysis, By Products (Hair Colorants, Shampoo, Conditioner, Hair Oil, and Others), By Distribution Channel (Supermarket/Hypermarkets, Specialty Stores, Online Stores, and Others), and Regional Forecast, 2019 – 2026, Fortune Business Insights, 03/2020. https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/hair-care-market-102555
Hair Loss In Women, Cleveland Clinic Medical Professional, 02/10/2021. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/16921-hair-loss-in-women
What Black Women Need to Know About Their Hair Loss, by Julie Carson, PA-C, 02/18/2020. https://www.allinahealth.org/healthysetgo/prevent/black-womens-hair
African Women and the Shame of Hair Loss, by Aaron Akinyemi, 03/23/2019. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47403686
Music Credits: Lack Luster Foray by Ritchie Everett - Epidemic Sound Money by T-shirts & Sweats - Epidemic Sound Chains Change by Sandaai - Epidemic Sound
Image Credits: Canva Envato Elements