I'm going to NATIONALS. That's right.

Sitting on the plane.

Sitting on the plane.

The plane's about to take off. For the first time since getting the invite I'm excited! Someone got me first class! Who arranged that?! The guy at the counter? Kevin? Jessica? I don't know but I'm feeling it!

The plane assends and I remember! I AM an ATHLETE!
Everyone watches me as I get on late. And I feel it. There are murmurs and I feel it and remember. They're not talking about me because I'm weird or different. Their talking about me because they can tell there is legitimately something special about me. I remember what this is like. Before all the dialysis. Before I got sick. Before it all went to shit. Before…

And suddenly I'm excited! IM BACK!

This time I'm 10 or 13 years older- however you wanna look at it - wiser in any case. And I feel better than I ever have. One back pack is in the overhead compartment. One bag! No more crazy D bags to carry around every where! I wanna cry! Is this real? I've never felt so light!

My kidney sister, Ali, dropped me off. How perfect! My sister who gave me my new start, dropped me off for my new start! Like a duckling she leads me to the waters edge and says, “kick some ass”! I fucking love her so much! If I had to pick one person to spend the rest of my life on a desert island with, it would be her. And we wouldn't even suffer! We'd have so much fucking fun!

This is it! We're flying! All the fear and foreboding I've been feeling all week about racing and what to do with my life, money and other life stuff, is gone! I'm going to Nationals!! What the hell am I doing?! This is so crazy!! I laugh inside and smile out loud! With a broken shock, no race skis, retro race clothes and cheesy wheelchair, I head east, to Loon Mt., New Hampshire with new conviction that THIS is going to be so much fun!

God, I'm old! But I don't give a damn! Cause I've never felt so good! I'm alive! Thank God, I'm alive! Thank Ali, I'm alive! And I'm living! “Here we go! Life is short! I know for sure! Here we go!” @loonmountain One cool thing I've got going is @mountainhardwear @usparaalpineski #idahogirl thanks #united #skidreams #sowhat #lifeisbeautiful #lifeisshort #monoski #onepowski